


Hold On To Me

by kalekeith



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, Keith is precious, Lance is sad, M/M, Space Gays, Space fam - Freeform, everyone is worried, i just wanted an excuse to draw a homesick pair of dorks, klance, nonbinary!pidge, one big space family, self depreciating lance, space, star gazing and tears
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-22
Updated: 2016-09-22
Packaged: 2018-08-16 17:07:52
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,657
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8110558
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kalekeith/pseuds/kalekeith
Summary: It’s been 14 hours and 27 ticks since Lance had made a god awful pun, or shitty pick-up line, or faux-suave gesture – which Keith isn’t in the least slightly concerned about; not at all.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I just wanted an excuse to write about my angsty children floating in space.

Hunk was the first to pick up on it. He’s always the first to pick up on anything Lance-related. His otherwise comically clumsy best friend would usually jump right back up after tripping over something on the ground with finger guns and a wide smirk like 'he so meant to do that just to get your attention and it worked'.

Hunk immediately knew that something was wrong with Lance when instead of bouncing right back, he took an additional 12.4 ticks to stand up than his normal record (Hunk has a whole data pad dedicated to listing Lance’s weird eating habits, secrets and time-records for doing ordain things in such a Lance-way. 

He didn’t ask Lance what was wrong because the poor kid was still staring blankly at the floor like it held the answers that his troubled mind was searching for; Hunk knew better than to push him. 

Instead, he tugged on the sleeve of Lance's bed-shirt and guided him into the dining hall before starting breakfast.

-

Pidge was the next to notice. On arrival outside of the dining hall, a few steps ahead of Shiro and Allura, they expected to be greeted with the usual 'hey Pidgeotto' or 'look out everyone, it’s a gremlin' - something endearingly irritating they had come to expect from the blue paladin. Instead, they were greeted with only the muted hum of the goo machine and the worried tapping of heavy feet nearby. 

Confused, their head snapped to where Lance should’ve been sitting… is sitting. But before they opened their mouth to ask what was wrong, a sharp psst erupted from behind them, and a confused Pidge turned to see a worried Hunk shaking his head softly, mouthing that Lance was having an "off" day. 

(Impossible, they thought, Lance doesn’t know what an off day is.)

However, looking closer at the lanky teenager, Pidge could definitely tell that the 'Lance' part of Lance was significantly missing today. He didn’t even look up from where he was staring at his lifelines to register Pidge’s existence in the room.  
Something was horribly wrong.

-

Shiro and Allura picked up on the worried and detached aura of the room next – nearly bumping into a nervous Pidge who was wringing their hands and staring at… Lance?

Meeting each other’s eye, they looked to Hunk for an explanation before voicing their presence. Hunk shrugged, mouthing helplessly the same thing he said to Pidge before continuing to tap an effactoc rhythm with his feet as he continued to overmix the breakfast goo. 

Shiro made to move over to talk to Lance before he was stopped by a strong hand gripping his arm. Confused, he turned back to see Allura shaking her head gently, bright eyes softening sadly as she looked over at the empty husk of the joker of the team.

“Leave him be for now, he’ll talk to us when he’s ready.” She whispered, tendrils of her silver hair tickling his cheek as she moved to walk over to comfort an anxious Pidge – who was very clearly doing mental calculations in their head at how this could possibly have occurred in the 7 hours and 37 minute separation period Lance had from the team that night. 

Shiro sighed, running a hand through his hair. What was going on?

-

Keith, unsurprisingly, didn’t react as physically as the others. As he burst through the doors of the control room shortly after everyone had gathered after the breakfast he missed from beating his high score in the training room, he walked right up to stand next to Shiro, who – along with the rest of the crew – were huddled uncomfortably close to each other and away from… Lance? 

Leaning forward to look at the most obnoxious member of the team, Keith was intrigued at what had managed to keep the blue paladin’s mouth shut for so long when Keith was in the same room. (Not that he was expecting it or anything.) 

He met the gaze of his worry-filled teammates and raised an eyebrow, eyes flickering to Lance, 'what’s his problem?' 

Hunk and Pidge looked back to Lance as Shiro took a deep breath and shook his head, shrugging a shoulder before nodding at Allura to start the meeting.

After a large pause, in which her gaze worriedly sought out the eye contact that Lance had been lacking with everyone since this morning, she began.

“Alright paladins…”

-

Nothing changed for the rest of the day. 

Shiro cracked first and tried approaching Lance sometime after lunch, but came back to the rest of the group with a heavy sigh and a helpless frown.  
Hunk tried next, bringing over some sort of fruit kebab – and an extra (fake) bounce in his step – he gushed to Lance about how he just has to try it. Lance looked up briefly, nodding at whatever Hunk was saying before shaking his head and turning away again. 

After that, Pidge tried to coax Lance into checking out their newest invention – it was actually just an Altean version of a hairdryer (Coran was surprisingly invested in beauty care) with some cool gadgets attached to it. Again, Lance nodded before saying something with barely a change in expression before Pidge walked away, head bowed. 

At the reassuring should pat from Allura, Pidge looked up and met Shiro’s eyes before looking at everyone in turn and whispering,

“He said it looked cool...just, cool." Shiro, Allura and Hunk led them away, while Keith stayed by the doorway a few moments longer, hearing Pidge’s incredulous whispers echoing down the hall, 

“He didn’t even look at it.”

-

Keith wasn’t sleeping – (And not because of Lance) – his insomnia was just playing up again. At least that was his excuse for stumbling out of his room sometime after midnight, when the rest of the crew went to bed dejectedly a few hours prior, with no avail in trying to get Lance out of his state.

Keith doesn’t know what led him to the conservatory, but the dancing lights underneath the door made certain that someone had beat him to the punch.

The door opened with a soft hiss, and the only thing that moved inside the room where the billions of holographic constellations dotting the room. Amazed, Keith walked further until his feet hit a heavy mound of flesh. 

“Ow.” A flat voice came out of the darkness, causing Keith to jump back in shock, scowling when he realised who the voice belonged to. 

“What are you doing laying on the ground?” He hissed, coming back over to loom over the disinterested boy beneath him. 

Lance shrugged, turning his head away from Keith to look back at the constellations over his head.

“Felt like it.” 

The abruptness of his reactions caused Keith to remember how off Lance had been, and without dwelling too much on it – Keith took a seat next to Lance’s reclined figure.

“Okay.” He replied softly, hunching over his bent knees and looking around him at the dozens of foreign constellations in the sky.  
After a short while (33 ticks, not that Keith was counting), Keith's curiosity (worry) caused him to break through the deafening silence, 

“Talk to me, Lance.” He was met with silence, as expected. Frowning slightly, he ran a hand through his hair (why was it shaking?) before laying down next to the silent boy next to him. 

“Do you ever…just remember how insignificant you are?” Lance whispers after a pregnant pause (9 ticks). Keith resisted the urge to turn his head in astonishment, instead choosing to listen quietly as his partner continued,

“I mean… you’re just a human, and you only just managed to stumble across a magical lion and a crew that you ended up travelling around with. But you’re just... you’re just that. You’re human – you’re boring and you’re plain and everyone else is infinitesimally more experienced and able to grasp alien concepts better and explain things and understand. And you…you just don’t. You’re just there. And somewhere,” Lance threw an arm out to gesture to the constellations painting the walls, “somewhere out there, is earth. And your family and your childhood and your old house and your first girlfriend and they’re probably – dead, because space is fucked, and time travel is insane, and you gave up all of it – to what – to save the universe?” Lance scoffed, dropping his arm to the side – Keith ignored the burning sensation when his hand brushed his. (The tingling lasted 7.8 ticks) 

“Fat lot of good that’s doing.” Lance mumbled, as Keith saw a hand in his peripheral vision move to wipe at his eye… tears. Lance was crying. The realisation shouldn’t have shook Keith as much as it did, but after hearing how self-depreciatingly alone Lance feels he should’ve expected such a natural reaction. He turned on his side to look at the sniffling boy, ignoring the clench in his heart when Lance refused to meet his eyes.

“Lance, you’re not alone. You have Hunk, and Pidge, and Shiro and… me.” Keith replied softly, but firmly. “We all have our flaws… I’m… I’m not good at social interactions, and I don’t really understand how horrible you’re feeling about leaving your family behind because I don’t even have one to miss like that.” He choked out, biting his tongue to push off the sting of tears threatening to break the surface. This was about Lance, not him. 

Lance was silent, the only sound was the sniffling and the rubbing of fabric on wet skin before his subdued voice broke the silence, clogged with tears and self-hatred.

“I missed Liza’s 10th birthday, I promised her I’d buy her a pony you know? And Marco… I promised that little squirt I’d show him how to cheat in poker so that he could beat my grandpa when he came over for Christmas.” Lance smiles softly, the corners of his mouth twitching as the tears trickling down his face were illuminated by the passing constellations. (The smile barely lasted 2 ticks.) 

“My garden plants are dead. I named them after the planets in our, the, Earth’s solar system. Venus was my favourite; she was this feisty cactus that never flowered, even when her siblings did. And I had a dog, Momo – he wasn’t mine, but he came by the shack enough times for me to get some dog food and bowls from the town nearby for him. He’s probably long... gone, by now.” Keith hissed, clutching at his shirt, not even bothering to hide the muffled sobs racking through his ribs. 

Lance nodded beside him, hand moving to clasp Keith’s un-gloved one in his own sweaty palm. Keith tried not to think about how perfectly they fit together. 

After a while (59 ticks), Keith reluctantly broke the grasp to stretch his aching back, surprised when Lance sat up as well. Side-by-side, the two boys breathed softly through their mouths as the last of their tears dried. 

Keith opened his mouth to ask Lance why he came out here but was interrupted before he even began,

“I don’t belong here.” It was a whisper, so quiet and so timid that Keith could barely believe that it was coming from the same guy who ran into a jelly-shaped rock the other day because 'he’s always wanted to do that.' 

“Yes you do.” Keith wanted to say, he wanted to grab Lance’s hands and hold them to his heart and tell him that he was the only thing that made Keith feel grounded anymore.

Instead, he choked on his tongue as Lance continued to ramble in that same horrifyingly small voice that was tearing Keith's insides apart.

“I just… I feel so out of place. Allura and Shiro belong in the sky - battling aliens and giant wars. And Hunk is so easily adaptable and he is so smart and can fix anything even if the only tools he have are things he’s never seen before. And Pidge, they’re so intelligent, and driven. They came here with a purpose and I’m just… floating. And you… you’re amazing.” Keith gasped softly when Lance finally (finally) met his gaze, a crooked smile gracing his broken features as his lower lip trembled,

“You’re so brave, and you’re so annoying. But you’re tough, and you’re reckless and you fly like you were born to be in the sky... like you were born to be a part of Voltron. And even your stupid mullet has a place in this fucked up situation we’re in…and I just… don’t. And I’m terrified, because what am I good for? You all have qualities that contribute to Voltron and the success of saving the universe and I’m just coasting along irritating you all with my personality and insufferable naivety at everything.” Keith doesn’t know when he faces the other boy face on and pulls Lance into his arms (was it 67 or 76 ticks ago?), but he holds the shaking boy tightly, refusing to let him go.

“You are so important. You matter so much. Every day, we all look forward to your stupid jokes and smiles because they ground us, they remind us that we’re human. You stop us from losing ourselves in this place. You’re our home, Lance…. You’re my home. You – you make me want to succeed, and to beat these bastards so that I can take you back to earth and see all the things that you thinks are so great about it. You make me want to be a better person, because I… I’m just a stupid kid… I’m harsh… I always act too fast, and get everyone hurt without thinking of the consequences of my actions. I’m selfish, but that’s okay. You can be sad, and that’s okay. You’re allowed to be sad and to need time to yourself. You're allowed to feel helpless, but you need to always remember that there are people out there… here, who care for you… and – love you…and you’re the only one,” Keith laugh-chokes, rubbing a shaking hand across the back of his neck, “you’re the only one who remembered me, you know? The only one who… who knew who I was. You didn’t just write me off as some dropout kid like the Garrison did; you believed in me and you made me realise that maybe I should start believing in myself. But for now you’re… you’re the only thing keeping me grounded in this place, Lance; you’re the only person who can make me feel like I mean something.” Lance stilled in his arms during Keith’s speech, and Keith had a few (three) tics left of foot-in-mouth syndrome left to go before he could regret blurting out things he swore he'd never let loose but fuck it this kid needed to hear it,

“Just…. Please don’t give up on me.” He finished, burying his head into Lance’s hair and taking 1,2,3 breaths before slowly (agonisingly) loosening his hold on the frozen boy beneath him. He cursed himself internally as he tried to keep the hot tears from spilling onto Lance’s frail body.

He fucked up, he fucked up; he shouldn’t have some on so strong and just poured himself out like that. He’s ruined Voltron, and Lance is probably disgusted with him right now, and – 

His vision was blinded by a pair of fiery brown eyes as he felt pressure on his lips– the chocolate glow of Lance’s eyes trapping Keith as they were illuminated by a particularly bright constellation that passed behind Keith’s head and holy shit - Lance was kissing him.

Keith gasped against soft lips and pressed forward against them, scrunching his eyes shut as he burned the memory of this feeling into his mind forever. Tentative hands flittered across chests and collarbones and finally found their place at the back of Keith’s neck while Keith gripped Lance’s hips like his life depended on it. 

This time, Keith didn’t count the ticks.


End file.
